IRONY

Among the many strange stories which will come from the current, continuing and costly wildfires in California, is one from which we can all learn a much needed and valuable lesson. It tells us to pay more attention to keeping our forests in proper conditon.
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By proper, I mean useful to man as he harvests its treasures and does so under conditions which encourage and maintain Nature's dominance.

One California resident in the fire stricken area has been clearing his property regularly for years, he has eliminated exessive undergrowth and cut those trees which were close enough to torch his home if they burned. He kept the trees trimmed as much as possible and even planted some new, varied ones set sufficently apart from his home to add variety and make it all more beautiful.

For doing all this, he has been scorned by his neighbors; even sued in the courts for "destroying the natural habitat" of several specified wilflife critters found throughout the entire area.

After the fire, which burned homes all around, but did not touch his, he became the only resident of the area who has living specimens of the various threatened biolocial and zological species on his property. They sought, and some of them actually found, sanctuary from the steadily approaching walls of flame.

When, one might ask, are we going to come to understand the importance of foresty care and maintenance. It is not a matter of simply refusing to use the forests at all and to allow them, even force them, to fall back into a chaotic state we call "wilderness." That is the foolish way out of the predicament in which we have placed ourselves
and one which does not solve any problems at all. Rather, it increases other dangers we must confront.

Living in the wilderness is a harsh setting for Man. It has always been so, and wild life as well. Our artists and poets describe a totally different paradise than the wilderness dweller usually found he had to conquer or die. The dominent form of life takes over in any specific area and the rest have a rough time of merely staying alive - much less prospering.

We have been victims of excessive and often hollow-headed enthiusiasms related to the serious subject of envionmental control. It has been warped into a social values thing far removed form the actual needs of a constantly changing state of being one in which Nature thrives at its best, for the moment. To think of the environment as being a packagable, bounded, concrete, pre-determined set of perfectly constant little compartments is sheer idiocy. It is time for us to begin to learn how wrong our attempts to rein Nature into our idea of what we think she ought to be. We must learn to us our natural resorces and not allow ourselves to be blinded by emotional considerations which are, at best, ever costly to both man and beast. We need to use our forests rather than to push them to disuse and ruin.


A.L.M. October 30, 2003 [c520wds]

 
COMEDY TEAM


Certainly there must be a few of you out there who can recall a comedy team which worked under the strange name of "Stoopnagle and Bud."

They were popular during the same general period that "Amos and Andy" held forth as rulers of the radio waves. As I remember it, they were "discovered" by comedian Fred Allen and, for a time, they appeared as guests on his show.

The character Stoopnagle had a title. I don't remember if it was intended to be a military rank or one associated with industrial or commercial success, which was not uncommon in that era. He was always referred to as "Colonel" Stoopnagle. Every program began with his playing of electric organ music with a stentorian voice-over which said:

"You are listening to Colonel Lemuel Q. Stoopnagle at the console of the mighty gas pipe organ..." He knew only one composition which was a two-fingered, one-foot arrangement of the nursery rhyme titled: "Mama Sent Me To The Spring." Bud acted as the straight man most of the time and the conversations dealt with events of the day and the condition of society in a charmingly evasive and vague manner.

The Colonel's wisdom was available to listeners who might - or might not - write inasking for his help. Such "letters" served as springboards for learned lectures on or around just about any sub ject. He did Daffy-nitions, too. For Example:

Gasoline - “Gasoline is what, if you don’t use good in your car, it won’t run as well as if.”

Dust - “Dust is mud with the water squoze out.”

One more: Jazz - “Jazz music is a lot of noise in a hurry.”

Stoopnagle and Bud were generous with words praising the products made of their “sponsor.”

Listeners never quite knew what that product was, because it was a multi-purpose invention designed to benefit mankind in many ways. As was common in radio of that day the name of the product was often spelled out rather than merely being said. It was Phoithboinder”. It was spelled each time as “P-h-o-i-t-h-Paragraph-Boin-der.” Satisfied buyers from all aroud the world praised it for its superior qualities - as a cure for Ingrown Toenails or as being useful in covering pantry shelves in an effort to thwart the ravages of spilled jams and jellies; as a car polish or as a beetle bane, bug killer, or as a birthday cake decoration for someone you disliked.

I must take the time to Google-ize “Stoopnagle and Bud”. I don't remember the name of the perfomers who did all those voices and characterizations so well. Or course, as many of you already realize, I tend to forget that much of what I write about actually took placed half a century , or more, ago.

Just for repeated laughs, how many of you remember Colonel Lemuel Q. Stoopnagle and his buddy Bud?

A.L.M. October 29, 2003 [c499wds]

 
TRADE MARKS

What trade marks in use today, will be around half a century from now?

Judging by the accelerated rate of buy-outs, mergers, take-overs and consolidations taking place rapidly now, it may well be that only a handful of well-known trade mark symbols will be extant.

With just about every week that passes we fnd a major tobacco company taking over another firm in that rather shaky business field. Banks seems to be most interested in buying other banks to become, usually,the “second largest” something or other in a complex field. Every time they do this or one grocery chain buys another – they eliminate a well-known logo marking their firm as being distinct from all others.

You have, no doubt, had your favorites. Mine include the Morton's Salt girl walking along through the rain with salt spilling from a carton she carries. She has changed considerably over the years to keep up with the times, but the logo idea is still intact.

Others have changed, too, but usually it has been done gradually and we have accepted the modification without even realizing they had been replaced.

One of the most clever transformations was one worked at the beginning of World War II. At that time most of us wrote with a yellow, wooden pencil - #2 lead - if we could get it, which bore the emblem of an ornate oriental imperial crown and the imprinted word name “Mikado”. After Pearl Harbor, that name had to go, of course, and, without even a ripple of publicity calling attention to the change, the manufacturer went with a more subdued royal crown in exactly the same position and the word “Mikado” gave way to the Spanish word “Mirado”. In many cases, people who still write with that make of pencil today have not yet realized it once shifted so adeptly under stress of historical change.

Others I recall from the early part of the past century: The attentive RCA dog, forever listening so intently, the Mack Truck Bull Dog - tough as they come, The bearded Smith Brothers on their cough drops packets, the distinctive shape of the Chevrolet sign and many others which pop into my mind's “eye” every now and then. Others have been either forgotten or combined.

I worked, at one time, with a young man in radio broadcasting who change cars quite often. Each time he changed cars he modified the name of the type of car he drove. He always took one physical part from his old car and had it affixed to his new car, in some way, - welded, if necessary - to the new one. When I knew the late Tom Gibson, back in the days before they started calling us “disc jockeys”, he told his listeners he was driving a ”Pont-Ford-a-Stude-a-Chevy-lac”. In a sense it was his verbal “'trade mark”and I remember it well.

A.L.M. October 28. 2003 [c498wds]
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DISTANCES

Ours is a very large country.

We seldom realize how large it really happens to be. We are puzzled at tines when we live among Europeans for a while to learn how they conceive it to be more compact. I remember talking with knowledegable Englishmen and women who could not undertsand why we Americans did not come to know each other since we lived in the same country. They spoke of visiting us and spending a day with me in Virginia, a day with so-and-so in Seattle, another with Carl and his family in Texas and, perhaps a week-end at Harry's in New England. They had no idea of the geographical expanse of the United States.

Considering the unusual diversity of the actual geographic structure of our land, it is amazing that we get along with each other as well as we do. I often hear people all under to the fact that such-and-such an area seems to be closer than it used to be. That magic is being worked out constantly by improved transporation systems , vehicles and highways as they bring people closer together. In many areas towns are actually building closer to each other even to the point of becoming one, so our nation, if anything, is getting "smaller" in size.

It is disturbing to me, however, to notice that there are other areas in which one can see marked preferences for dangeorus divisions.We need to pay some detailed attention to what is becomeig of the idea of "one nation" as well as the a nation "under God."

The problem of what should best be done concerning the placing of a monument to the "Ten Commandment" of the Judeo-Christian faith in the rotunda of the State House in Alabama has become headlined sensation throughout the land and beyond. Other indications of continued separations in religious preferences are brought foreward as a result of that rather severe controversy. Certainly a mere glance at world history should be enough to show us that such inclinations are suggestive of deeper confusions which can be dangerous to a nation's unity.

Other social and economic inequities can, and are being, set forth in some area and concealed in others. Many of these are quite obvious and listing them here would serve little purpose.

We, as Americans, need to re-define the terms we use to descibe what we profess to believe. Among them we are in dire need of a firm defintion of what we call a "democracy".

I get a strong feeling our present stance pretending ito model "democracy" for the world at large and to export it as a preferred manner of rule for eveyyone is an error. The greatest, most threatening divisions right now, is the gulf existing between what what we apparenty think democracy entails and what it has and will mean.

A.L.M. October 27, 2003 [c490wds]

 
TAKE CARE - EVERYWHERE

I am writing this by candle light.

We had a power shortage at about one-thirty his afternoon. I took a short nap, played guitar for a while, and my wife and I talked of “cabbages and kings” and one of the “other things” had to do with the lack of power to keep us going one or two vague attempts to shame the Al Quida for zapping a transformer down the street just a block or so away.

“Funny” came out “silly.” Our security is not a matter to be taken lightly and it may be that we a not taking it seriously enough.

Each of us tends to think of our area as being one unlikely to suffer any such attack. Here in the western Shenandoah Valley area protected by the Blue Ridge Mountain range to the east and hundred miles of rolling hills and and pine-strewn flatlands slanting into the Atlantic, we feel ourselves to be relatively safe. As with many others the same designation come “relatives” can be dangerous. It is not always what our are, but what and whom you are next to, which creates a modern day war target.

Now is not the time to relax security measures. Many people, understandably, are fed up with regulations which slow down their hectic pace. Many can point the finger at specific enforcement efforts of existing measures and show how they inefficient they are at times. Only a fool would say that such laws are expected to b e foolproof. We need to respect and obey the ones we do have in place for our mutual well-being.

Even while we feel fettered and needlessly put upon, we are under far less restrictions than almost any nation of people in the world today. I view with alarm the continued massing of large numbers of people at specific sites throughout our country - sports gathering , in particular, and I am very much aware and thankful of the existing security regulations which control who. What and when can flow over, or even near, such massive gatherings of citizens.

The arterial nature of our Intestate Highway system with its connecting roads of all kinds with connecting roads of all kinds is of vital importance, as well. Security must be strict. So, you can see, sitting here in tiny Virginia hamlet, almost at the crossroads of I-81 and I-64, and less than a hundred miles to the north and east we are boxed in by I-60 and I-95.

Do you understand why I “wonder” about a blown transformer just down the block? Think about your area.

.What makes a “target”?


A.L.M. October 26. 2003 [c-455wds]

 
RETRO ACTION

One enduring trait which seems to linger among men and women over the years of growth is that reaction to wrong which demands that we ”get even” with someone over a real or entirely imaginary slight or injustice done many years before.

We seldom realize that each of us has a few remnants of that sort of thing in our background which can pop up in curious and significant times. A major problem is that we don't admit we have such a tendency. Often we ascribe such childish actions as that of seeking revenge' of “"getting" even with” our foes, to semi-real characters such as “hillbilly” or ”mountaineer” people who are crafted to act as scapegoats upon whom we can pile our burdens to be lost in the wilderness.

As scapegoats to carry our burdens into the wilderness. We laugh at such childish actions and seem to see how silly it all can be. The very same people, however,if they are of Scottish decent, seem to overlook the fact their forebears lived with such a rule in their constant clan warfare .Other closely woven ancestral threads will show the same flaw.

How about you and I today? Right now, when we are in the process of electing a president for our nation, may well be one of those “significant times” in which we need to examine our attitude concerning the of attempting to “get even” for real or imaginary wrongs of the political past.

Far too many of the radio/TV sound bite being set forth - even this early in the campaign are flawed int two notable ways. On he one side every statement is issued in a glittering cloud of Florida “chads”,and the others are in some sort of a “gate”. Morality standards are touched upon repeatedly. Identical statistics concerning business statistics are voiced in two opposite ways. The primary stances are illusion and/or allusion. One seeks to make anything, either, fractionally factual or to show it doesn't exist at all. There are legal ways, of course, to “win” a victory, but properties held jointly commonly become troublesome.

Way back in the 1500's George Herbert (1593-1633) said “The worst of law is that one suit breeds twenty.” That is certainly true concerning any folk-law ideas about “getting even”, “taking revenge” or “repayment in kind”, or “eye-for-an-eye” tactic.

The use of one creates, at least, twenty or more.


A.L.M. October 24, 2003 [c429wds]

 
FREE WHEELING

Even as I write this - an era is ending.

This evening - Friday, October 24, 2003 – the news cups runneth over in praise marking the final flight of the British version of the SST Concord. The graceful preying-mantis-like craft landing gracefully at Heathrow and millions of TV viewers are witnessing films of this final voyage and the last landing of this exceptional aircraft creation of our Time ...a bit ahead of it all, perhaps, in many ways.

On the whole it was a time of good cheer and celebration. I noticed one young boy in the crowd, ten or twelve years of age perhaps, who was sobbing freely, and there are others, I dare say, who view his historic moment with sorrow and regret.

Not so, here in America. I find,judging by today's Direct Mail delivered to our door by government employee,by this morning's television spots and by forthcoming editions of newspapers and magazines, that we are entering a totally new era of personal transportation!

You just watch!

If all goes well for the people who have planned his introductory phase we are, as a nation, going to be up to our ear in motorized wheelchairs before the coming New Year gets old.

It is never called a “wheel chair. Instead, one one manufacturer has harkened back to the days when we could run all over the house and the neighbor-hod on a handy,two-wheeled plank with handle-bar called a “scooter” It has other names making git seem o be the very latest mode of personal transport, especially for the old and ailing, but not necessarily so. The attributes of the mechanism are being lauded to the extreme and most people I know would like to have, at least, one of them. Medicare will pay for it. If not, your supplementary insurance will, or the company will ante up, it is suggested. Come whatever, you keep the cart.

Somewhere along the happy trail, I fear, some one is going to be taken for a ride.

Thing not discussed: How long does a battery last? How much does a re-chargeable battery of the size needed cost? How many watts will it sip when the feeding line is connected at night? Where can I use it? That's something which has not been revealed, too. On public streets? On sidewalks - where kid's bikes are restricted? Shopping at the Mall? Do I need city, country, or state tags? Or, a permit or license of some sort? What about insurance coverage? Is there a change of a new octo-age cart event being added at the local stock car oval so I can can win prize money? What crazy stunt will get me in the Guinness Book of World Records?

And a, major point among all the minor ones, is: Do I have to get a doctor's written approval saying that I need a motorized wheel chair - without calling it a wheel chair, of course?

One era of personal transportation ends, you see, but another begins! It does get complicated at times. Ah! the wonder of it all!

A.L.M. October 24, 2003 [c531wds]

 
REBATE BAIT

When I see or hear that a car dealer is offering me thousands of dollars “back” if I buy a car or truck from his selection, I cringe and reach to protect my wallet almost automatically.

The way I hear the offer is not the way the dealer intended me to hear it, for sure.

When he, or the manufacturer of he vehicle, offers me a generous sum of money, discounting the price I am to pay, I always get a feeling that he is admitting that he has been charging too much for the product or service;that he is currently overpricing the car to others, and would be to me had I not become the blessed .anointed one chosen to receive this special discount. If he can make such price cuts and still stay in business, then he has been gouging everyone to whom he sold a car in recent months.

I realize I am not conversant with the inside language business people use among themselves suited to their particular niche, but much depends on what such terms as “invoice” can mean. One may be talking about or even telling the actual cost incurred when a dealer gets a car from the manufacturer, providing the true cost of the unit to the dealer, or one without considering transportation costs to display room or lot. Or, it might be quoted as the price of such a unit if bought by itself, but the dealer bought it, at a greatly reduced figure, as part of a “fleet” order. There are many variations of what an invoice might be said to be. Your chances of knowing all of them are about the same as any estimates you might make at the casino tables. You can be sure only just on thing: that the
“house” percentage is assured.

If such rebate are to handed out frequently, why in the world should anyone buy a vehicle at any other time? I, personally, am not one who enjoys “haggling” over prices. I find something I think I want and, if the price seems reasonable enough, I buy it. If not, I have learned long ago to do without.

It could be a matter of semantics, I suppose. One could see it as entirely possible that the word “rebate” has mutated over the years. Could it have originally been spelled “re-bait”? I still hear an overtone of such a possible meaning. I picture a trap being fitted out with new, tempting supply of sucker-luring tidbits.

Beware of all re-bait offers.

A.L.M. October 23, 2003 [c501wds]

 
WAR TIME MINISTRIES [ASC#2]*

Any church which has been actively serving a community of believers since 1740 is sure to have a varied history. Augusta Stone Presbyterian Church, at Fort Defiance, Virginia is one of them and it is interesting to look at the minister who served that church during Civil War year.

His biography takes every bit of one-half page in the book detailing the accomplishments of other ministers who have served the church until our own time. He is dubbed “the martyred minister” for something he did after he left the areas. His wartime Christian ministry is all but ignored and we wonder why his was done.

It appears that the mission of the church was was influenced by the rigorous demands of war. Indications are that the church was more or less dormant during the years of conflict, but it certainly it was not from any shortcoming on the part of the young minister. He compared favorably with the five previous pastors at the church as far as education. background and bearing were concerned. His abilities have not been criticized; they have been ignored, possibly by followers who lacked the courage to set him forth as a record of mutual beliefs which have, because of the wars end became largely discredited in a public sense.

Other writings about the Rev. Francis H.. Bowman, fifth minister of the Old Stone church, say he was a “100%-plus” Confederate who is said to have spent more time in jail than in the pulpit for his beliefs and expressed sentiments. He appears to have spoken out often concerning issues of the day. A letter written by a young Confederate soldier camping in the area is quoted in praise of the young minister who preached at the stone church on the hill above the Valley Pike/Indian Road.

It would seem we had a young man of ability who was sacrificed on the altar of war. In other times his life might well have been different and chapters would have been written concerning his views. His brief place in the church's history depends largely on a selfless act of compassion as symbol of his life .

After the war an epidemic of cholera or yellow fever rose to epidemic proportions in the Memphis, Tennessee area and Rev. Francis H. Bowman, of Augusta Stone Presbyterian Church, volunteered to be among those who went into the stricken area to minister to all in need. He came back briefly to Charlottesville, where his parents resided; sickened with the fever he had fought and died ...a martyr in service to Mankind in another time of stress.

We owe something to this man today, when we face the ravages of war so frequently. He, as others do today, spoke of the Prince of Peace in times of war which is not an easy thing to undertake.

A.L.M. October 22. 2003 {505wds]

*[ASC]one of a series concerning the history of Augusta Stone Presbyterian Church, Ft. Defiance, Va.

 
October 22, 2003

TWO SCAMS

It is amazing how many people buy into schemes which are obvious frauds. We are led to believe that this is something new and distinct for our time, but that is false in every way. Many of the schemes being used today to absorb the wealth of others have impressive historical backgrounds.

There can be a shaky side to just any proffered deal. “If it sounds too good,it probably is.” applies to most of them. I recall two scams from the past which did very well and may still be providing someone with a living of a sort.

One scheme, used in radio and print, was for a “Guaranteed Bug Killer”. The offer provided a way of permanently eliminating all bugs, ants,roaches,flies, fleas, lice - you name it - – as well as other pestiferous critters such moths, spiders, termites, weevils, garden bugs of all kinds. The Bug Killer offered was absolutely harmless to all pets, children and today it would be claimed as being harmless as far as environmental hazards which might be concerned. It was guaranteed. Some places charged several dollars for it; others asked only one dollar for a sample. Some suggested it was a one treatment, too.

Naturally, many bug-battered people, ordered the product. Within a few days they got the “prompt shipment” they had been promised. The packet was opened immediately and very carefully.

It contained two small wooden blocks. On the surface of one block they saw printed instructions: “Place bug here. Place Block 2 on top. Press firmly.”

Very few people talked about having been so dumb. So the scam continued. Rest assured, it will return or may even be out there right now now in some guise.

The other scam called for an enterprising individual to place a classified ad in the local newspaper which always read: “Notice: Today is the last day you can mail a one dollar bill to Box ---, Dept ----”.

You, may not think it possible but there was always a few suckers out there who would do so with dreams of fantastic reward for their prompt action. The writer of the ad checked the Box No. the next day or so, and used the money he received to get to the next town which had a local paper.

One word: Don't!

A.L.M. October 20, 2003 [c395wds]

 
NOW WATCH THAT, BUSTER!

There's one sayin' I hear now and then that irks me a bit. I've said it. You've said it. Milton Berle probably was accused of stealing the gag line from other comics during the time of late night radio.

It is usually said when an older man gets married for the second or third time – especially if the bride is much younger than he.

“There's no fool like an old fool.”

I'd like to contest that idea to a disagree, not so much because it may be true, but because it is usually voiced out of plain and simple jealousy and envy. And some of the world's best, or worst, have been young. Foolishness is not, by any means, confined to the older age levels.

Waste the better part of your next minute or so to consider what it takes to make a true fool, With that tiny fragment of time, you will quickly come to the realization that you agree with another well-know adage: “It takes one to know one!”

It may well be that we are too free with out use of the term “fool” in our everyday speech patterns. We often speak of those “fool young drivers” who have their car motor and stereo at constant high settings.

It could be, also, that we are just about equally divided as either young fools or old fools. It is obvious that neither has a monoply on the trait. As with so many features of life - good and bad – the young tend to learn from the example set by the older members. I don't think either side can go around poking fun and ridiculing the other, with some serious damage to themselves.

Don't fall into the habit of considering what other people do which you don't understand.
When you do so there is a distinct danger that you may deserve the tag yourself for saying so.

Both sides. Get real.


A.L.M. October 20,003 [c334wds]

 
LAST STAGE ROBBERY

I cannot vouch as to the factual exactness of the story of what is said to have been the final robbery of stage coach in the Shenandoah Valley section of Virginia. I have heard the tale several times from different sources and it seems to be one of those pieces based on fact or one of the many pieces of fiction which keep cropping up in histories of specific localities.

The site of the crime, it is said, was just south of the border line which divides Rockingham County and August County today. It is said that those who planned the attack, counted on the grade of the steadily rising hills south of the place on the Indian or Valley Road where travelers had forded the North Fork of the Shenandoah River to cause the horses to slow down a bit.. That would have placed the site near Weyers Cave, in Augusta County.

That town did not exist at the time, of course, having come about when the railroad put this area on maps when it was it was designated as Weyer's Cave Station, the jumping off place for those passengers who intended visiting Dr. Bernard Weyers' Spa and Caverns at what is now known ss Grand Caverns, Grottoes,Va.

Our story is confined to the Stage Line which existed in the early l8th Century years between Staunton and Winchester, Va. The robbery is said to have taken place on the final hill of the gradual incline the old road took after South Bound coaches had forded the North fork of the Shenandoah River at Crawford's Store. It was seen as a logical site fore such a planned robbery because of the grade of the terrain, even with fresh horses. To complicate the story I have heard that it was not uncommon for stages to refuse new mounts at that location. The next station was called “Ten Mile Stage”which was known later as Mount Sidney, Va. So, robbers, knowing this, may have selected the best site possible.

The three boys who were undertaking the robbery planned it well enough, it seems but they made the mistake talking about their plan the day before in a barn without knowing that the girl friend of one of the boys was within listening distance. What she heard made try to think of some way by which she could prevent her boy friend from taking part in the night time robbery. At supper that night she managed sprinkle “just a smidgen” of dusty flakes of rat poison over his food. By the time of departure time rolled around she was nursing one sick critter, and the other two boys left without him.

That night the robbery went pretty much as planned. The two hold-up men stopped the stage on the hill, robbed the passengers of their valuables, and making their getaway when a coach passenger wounded one of them in the leg with a revolver he had successfully hidden. The driver and others overpowered the highwaymen' tied them up and took them to the next stop. They were, in time, duly tried, found guilty, served several months in jail and it is said both migrated to the far West to become desperadoes.

The girl? Two versions are available.

One account says she nursed her boy friend back to good health and mutual tranquility, but the other reports he never quite got over his ordeal and refused to have anything whatsoever to do with her in any way, shape or form.

If the romantic ending had survived the story would, probably, have been better remembered. The supposed site is still visible although the Route 11 surface is up the hill somewhat but the general contours of the old road can still be seen..

A.L.M. October 19, 2003 [c541wds]

 
OH, BURY ME NOT...

On the “lone prairie”, or in the finest marble mausoleums, I often question who devises the quaint, brassy, wise, silly, and, occasionally humorous sentiments emblazoned on the resting place of the notable, notorious, nutty, nefarious or nasty individuals entombed at that specific point.

As to the actual authorship of such graveyard graffiti, we are usually led to believe that the “die-ee” - that would be the individual buried there under - rather than a surrogate “die-or” actually came up with the terse sentiment expressing their true feeling about the deceased. Many such statements are, I fear, pure whimsy on the part of some comedian who lacked a proper stage; cemetery-centered Kilroy character who wanted to leave notice he had been there, or, here at one time.

Can you accept the idea that Dorothy Parker, that eminent Algonquin wit, could have requested that the inscription on her tombstone should read: “Pardon my dust.” As I remember her, she was never quite that polite.

It seems just and proper that Cecil Rhodes' final words be cut in stone for all to remember: “ So little time; so much to do!” and I think it is proper to put one word following the name of a famous gardener: “Transplanted.”

There are reams of these terse statements and many are used again and again. Some are serious such as that of Israeli leader Golda Meir: “I have had enough.” Showman George F. Kaufman quipped:”Over my dead body!” Jack Paar; “Keep the line moving!”, and there are scores of generalized ones which are applied ,usually, on an occupational specialty basic as a rule” For the non-believer””Here lies an achiest. All dressed up and nowhere to go.”; On a supposedly double grave: “ a lawyer and an honest man.”'; on the hypochondriac's grave: “I told you I was sick!” and the cowboy “who's crown was won, by blowing in an empty gun.”

You have, probably, given very little, serious thought to the idea that some words will be required on your headstone one day. I will admit I have been remiss in such preparations myself, as well as any efforts to compose what I want my last words to be.

Tombstone sentiments and “last words” are pretty much of the same order, so we are all potential subjects.

Be very careful what you say at any age!

Remember. Anything you say may be held above you.

A. L. M. October 17, 2003 [c418wds]

 
DOWNSIDE

Life is what we make it.

Your life.

Mine.

I have found that to be true in many ways.

My doctor tells me, as I approach eighty-eight years, that I am getting “younger” all the time. I know better than to think is speaking seriously and it gave me the opportunity to explain the system whereby I bring it all about or appear to do so. I decided many years ago that , if I should attain to the age of fifty years, I would then start taking one year off the total each birthday month. When I arrive at ZERO – then – out! Unless one has earned extra years under the bonus plans available.

Such a plan makes good sense to me. On that basis I am looking forward to my new downside year next February 25th. To what avail? That remains to it can be seen. We must to see what use I make of my Downside Teen Age years. They are said to be ”formative years”, you know.

Silly? I know that, but not nearly as foolish as worrying about ones advancing years leading to undue agony and frustration.

Growing younger is not the same as growing older. Nor, is it even a reversal thereof either. It is a new way of living which few people ever discover mainly because most of us accept the status quo methods and allow ourselves to descend into decrepitude in every aspect of human endeavor.

Stay busy ....physically ... as long as you can hack it; Ease off on energy use when bones and brawn no longer mesh properly at the right times. Stay busy mentally, as well. Set no limits on learning. Stay awake socially, as well ...read books, sing, write, play a musical instrument, gossip, if you've been good at that, and go right on expressing yourself so you remain you and do not become some sort of blah.

 
GETTING PLASTERED

If there are memories I would just as soon forget, one would certainly be that era in which application of a counter-irritant was considered th be the best way to cure a chest cold or other such ailment. The do-it-thyself procedure was not complicated. Drs.”Mom”, Grandma and Pa, after closed consultation, started with a large cloth - probably wool – or some designated fabric. That cloth was doused with water and a mat of dry mustard powder sprinkled upon it as I recall. The pad was then styled as a semi wrap-around pad for the chest area of the victim-patient.


Firmly in place and covered with a thick towel,,i felt good enough. It was, maybe, a bit chilly to start with, but it warmed up gradually, then some more and changed aggressively until it, proceeded to cooking temperatures I always felt.

You would hear the spoken word of the treatment staff: ”There, now! You'll feel better!” And, oddly enough I did. The coughing was gone. I felt warm, on the edge of being too cozy and drifted off to sleep.

I could dream of a parallel in which a large group of foresters were fighting a terrible fire along a mountain range. They went ahead of the advancing flames and started a smaller fire of their own. When the main fire came to that point there was nothing left to burn run and it would die out. That could, I suppose, be called counter- irritant action. Unless, the wind changed directions in the meantime, I suppose, that could be called and example of counter-irritant action.

There were frills which could be added,of course, but I only remember one occasion when the staff thought general slices of raw onion must be added to the mustard plaster application. I have heard such added touches were intended to alleviate the scalded, red appearance of the skin of the chest area which was often evident the next morning and for a time thereafter

That onion additive proved to be damaging in a psychological way for both patient and staff. It did little for the the patient to look up and see everyone looking down at tearfully.

Seriously, we have made tremendous strides in the treatment of all manner of illness for both man and beast since those days They were real, however, and it is often a bit scary to think of how primitive our present-day medical treatments are going to appear to have been a hundred years hence.


A.L.M. October 15, 2003 [c436wds]

 
ONE SIZE MISFITS ALL

It seems to me to be unfortunate that TV Production people, those who make our entertainment and edification packages, are in real trouble. The condition, too, is worsening.

In theory, we should be working together, rather than opposing each other.

They depend on the income they receive from the shows which are sold to us and, in turn, we look I look to them them as people with training, experience, money, and know-how and, at least, they know the whereabouts of the need creative artists needed to provide such a product for us to buy.

Yet, season after season, these prize-winning persons seem to be incapable of producing other than one-size-fits all program materials. The ape and imitate each other; the deride the arty edges of the business when they try new, innovative techniques and try to continue rehashing the old formats until they have become threadbare and tattered.
The least admirably among them tend to depend more and more on shock values. The prove season after season that excess violence, profanity, obscenity, rape and ravishment are not, as such, entertaining Their idea of comedy seems to center on either male crotch kicks or sight seeing tours of female cleavage. Each year they steadfastly prove that such shows are shallow and doomed.

To remain vital, television needs to develop purpose. its lose its meaning and need to be refocused on a definite set of goal worthy of the best elements of it audience. It can do far better than it is doing. It has proved that, by becoming the overwhelming media giant of our century. It has brought us endless reams of good entertainment and educational creations over many years. It is because of its sterling achievements that we are so concerned about its future.

The major need right now seems to be a need for TV to decide what it wants to be, where it is going, and to try to work toward such goals rather than attempting to recreate and maintain a Golden Age which it once knew and cannot ever know again in exactly the same way. The industry needs a new sense of purpose.

TV producers have had everything their own way far too long. There are now other kids on the block are ready to entertaining and edify in their mode and TV can no longer survive on re-runs and new versions of the same old formats season after season.

Have you noticed that the last three “changes” offered in American TV have all been British imports – The “millionaire” things, the “survivor” things and “reality” farces?

A.L.M. October 15, 2003 [c449wds]

 
FEAR

Just about all of us, have and are, at times, confused and led astray by fear.

It can become a handy way of getting rid of things we think we don't like.

How often have you found yourself saying, or thinking ...”Oh, I'm afraid I can't be there at that time. The last time I did time did so I....” and, we attempt to prop up our objection with seemingly sensible reasons. We seldom admit any deep feelings of fear.

The same very human element is to be found in many of our activities, even our social and political lives, we live without any bothersome knowledge of it being there as a controlling factor.

Quite often it can prove to be a handicap. Each of us, deep within, has serious thought about changed we would like to see being brought about in our social systems, We are, it could be said, fearful of saying what we truly feel because we might face ridicule, and be branded as being pushy, ignorant, stupid, egg-headed, or worse.

It can happen that way, but in a group of your peer with standards of politeness pretty much like your own, you will often see different result. There will be noticeable pause in their speech flow. Some may insert such thoughts as “Well, I never thought of it in quite that manner...” As they continue to argue their points they, from time to time, will actually pause and even look at you for your opinion. Once our initial plunge into the discussion has been made, you may even realize that you know as much, or more , about the subject under discussion as they do. Such fear can be overcome. Remember how it was when you, as a child, were at the pool ready,willing able to learn how to swim. There was not a chance of learning if you didn't get in the water. During this next election year, when political opinion are flowing, take the dive, get in the swim and conquer your fears which have kept you from expressing your views in years past.

Try it. You'll like it.

Fulfilling one's social and political obligations is a tragically ignored element of present-day living. Find your role as a supporting player the Drama of Democracy.

A.L..M. October 14, 2003 [c395wds]

 
FAIRNESS

Should we move major criminal trials from the regions in which the alleged crime or crimes took place?

It is done in the name of fair play as an extra effort to make sure the accused gets a fair trial uninfluenced by personal associations of jurors with the incidents involved.

It seems clear that the current trials for the first of the two accused “Beltway Killers” might best be conducted other than in the immediate Maryland-D.C.-Virginia area as well as to the south down the Intestate 95 corridor. The first of those trials has just gotten underway at Virginia Beach, Virginia - the largest city in the Old Dominion.

It would seem to be a good choice as a place to hold such a trial. It is located out of the immediate area where the pubic felt some genuine - even reasonable – fear and apprehensions during the extended series of killings. It should be a city which is large enough to take care of the logistical needs of present day; large enough to allow for TV equipment without the entire community taking on the air of a carnival celebrations of some sort. It should also be a place where the media – now far more complex than many might imagine – may have sensible access as to the progress of events in the Court without undo restrictions which might encourage flawed reporting - which would also be unfair to the individuals being tried.

One purpose of such a move to to provide provide a more equitable jury for the accused, but the move does not make the difficulty of choosing a panel or, less important. With the means of communication as is is today, it is more or less impossible to find jurors who know “nothing” about the case at hand. They may not be sharply, influenced by such events; or they may not have formed a definite opinion from what little the do know. We would, I think , find anyone who declared he had no knowledge whatsoever of the crime, could be trusted to judge any one accused of committed the transgression.

Being “fair” about it all is important. In doing so we accent the better qualities within us - ethical standards. There will, however, this week be among us many individuals who will continue to say it is all foolishness claiming that, whatever we do, will be much “fairer” than were the accused gunmen as they gunned down innocent men and women.

a.l.m. October 13, 2003 [c432wds]

 
DAFFYNITION

We are, in our governmental circles, often in danger of defining ourselves into dangerous corners.

For example: All this talk about “Weapons of Mass Destruction.”

All weapons are “weapons of mass destruction”, or they are useless.

Who would be willing to expend work and money developing a half-way or “maybe” piece of ordinance? At what point would it be defined as being a “weapon”? What constitutes a “mass”? How many? Of what?

“Weapons of Mass Destruction” as a cumbersome term of vague potentials, became “W.M.P.” when used by the media and as understood by an evermore gullible public. The acronym has an evasive quality about it, too, which permits individual gradations of severity. We can each visualize the immensity of the situation as being a mild, medium, moderate, or monstrous threat to our very existence.

With such a vague definition in mind, we dispatched agents into foreign lands to ascertain the existence of such demonic weaponry aimed our way, and ready for use by power-crazed despot in a matter of minutes. We were disappointed, confused and confounded, when our fantasy-fed inspectors fail to find such exotic weaponry as we have thought would have been available in glitzy bundles awaiting our arrival.

The natural public reaction has been for many to castigate the inspectors themselves as being inept, bumbling busybodies and others have seen it as an opportunity to blame the Bush Administration for seeing the danger in the first place.. The resulting standoff situations which developed between such factions, might well have obscured the reality inspection has found evidence that such feared weaponry system such as biological and chemical agents and the means of dispersing them against us, have been shown to have existed to some extent. Ruins of movable labs have been found which could well have been used by Iraq's former leader. He actually made us of such facilities to kill thousands of his own people who had rebelled against his despotic rule in the recent past. We have found that he had developed such capabilities and that they have either been destroyed or moved across the border into neighboring Arabic states.

There now remains a threat - and is far from being a minor one - which would point to the distinct possibility that the use and misuse of the handy acronym. The most glaring example of mis-use of the term is to be seen in our upcoming presidential campaign already underway. Misguided users of the questionable term are suspect in the minds of many.

A.L.M. October 11, 2003 [c476wds]

 
October 11, 2003

W.S.L.

The three letters “W. S. L.” are looming larger in our future with every day that passes.

They remain unseen because we do not, as yet, mark manufactured goods made in China and several other foreign nations with an informative, qualifying second line which reads:”With Slave Labor.”

Our current hypocritical stance is something to be ridiculed and changed if only to save our self-respect. Adding those words to Made in China credits could change our lives in many subtle ways.

There is no urgent need to actually print the letters on manufactured imports Made in China, but it is past time for American citizens to be told what we are doing each and every time we purchase such products. To make the idea common knowledge is essential. People will grasp its importance and come to know what the letters means.

Gradually the people will see it and would relate the letters to the words they are meant to signify - "with slave labor." The idea is to impress upon buyers in a meaningful way that they are buying a product made in China by slave labor standards even while they agitate against any such such manufacturing by other nations while we blatantly accuse them of using slave labor. We vilify American firms selling such products made at sub-standard wage levels in Mexico, Central America, Korea, South America India, and Tiawan. We castigate individuals who own such firms most unfairly since we continue to buy from a communist state where the products are often monopolies with all earnings going to supply the needs of such entities as the China's armed forces. Or other subversive branches of the captive society. They rely on our purchases to fund their armed forces through an elaborate system of industrial monopolies “owned” by the units taking all profits. I don't recall what the specific product line it is which supports the Chinese army, but it may well be that every time we buy a pair of shoes which are marked "Made In China" we are supporting the armies which may someday be used against us.

Not too many years ago, products made in China were of inferior quality. That no longer applies and it is not at all unusual to find them to be superior. We have exported not only the right to make an item, but the know-how which enables them to excel in efficiency as well. The notable disparity is in the fact that we have not exported high pay for workers. The industries flourishing overseas, pay their workers only a small fraction of what it costs in the United States. We sustain that situation when we buy products made in those lands.

Right now the important point may well be that we should not “blame” other nations for the situation in which we find ourselves. The real problem is in our own will to maintain stricter standards of personal and group conduct. The solution will be found at home - rather than abroad.

a.l.m. October 10, 2003 [c508wds]

 
October 10.2003

WHAT'S GOOD ABOUT LIFE?

We hear far too much complaining this days.

A little bit of it might be normal and even a good thing. That may be one way of inviting change, when things are dull or amiss, but to allowing it to become the center of our lives. Being unduly critical and viewing everything with a negative or argumentative attitude, seems to me to be totally wrong.

I'm being "critical" right now, you might point out, and I say to you – you are right. It rubs off on all of us.

Some of it might be attributed to the world of commercialism in which we live, I suppose. We are constantly being bombarded by claims for this or that product or service and the natural tendency, after a few learning experiences, is that what is being said is simply not true - inaccurate, if you wish to soften it a bit. We are placed on the defensive from the moment we hear the words of the offer being spoken or flashed on the screen in front of us. We tend to say "No" before we take time to even consider the offer and we start listing reasons for our position, too.

Such thinking tends to undermine social conduct, too. Nothing irks me more that to pick up the phone when it rings and find yet another sales pitch being thrown my way. I know we are in the midst of legal ways to bar this unauthorized entry into our homes, and I have signed up for such a screening. The unctuous tone of the voice asking if I am me and in nine cases out of ten mispronouncing my name and/or doing crass harm to the name of the small town in which I happen to live, strikes me as being wrong and I go on the defensive immediately. I am, normally, a polite person but I find it easier as time goes on; simply to interrupt what they are pitching my way with: "I don't believe we are interested in that right now, Thank you for calling. G'bye." I still try to be formally polite but it comes hard for me. That "thank you for calling" bit is a genuine, unvarnished lie of the worst sort, but it is sort of a Band Aid to cover the blemish of my interruption. Sometimes I think: "Well, he or she is just doing their job." and I sorta feel sorry for them, and tote a weight of guilt around with me for the rest of the day for being rude.

Sometimes I think people watch television manly to find fault with it. Notice how many people talk back to their TV screens as they watch and much of what they say is negative by nature. They like to feel they could do better at whatever the performer is attempting to prove he or she can do well.

Even the most calloused politician, talking on a TV screen, would cringe if he could hear what is actually being said to or about him or her by millions of viewers. They would sulk away and give up political life forever if the knew what so many people actually think of their efforts. Think about that for a moment, How do you rate in that particular setting?

We must constantly be on the alert to positive elements concerning our viewing, reading, or listening. We do not have to take the bad with the lousy.


A.L.M. October 9, 2003 [c545WHAT'S GOOD ABOUT LIFE?

We hear far too much complaining this days.

A little bit of it might be normal and even a good thing. That may be one way of inviting change, when things are dull or amiss, but to allowing it to become the center of our lives. Being unduly critical and viewing everything with a negative or argumentative attitude, seems to me to be totally wrong.

I'm being "critical" right now, you might point out, and I say to you – you are right. It rubs off on all of us.

Some of it might be attributed to the world of commercialism in which we live, I suppose. We are constantly being bombarded by claims for this or that product or service and the natural tendency, after a few learning experiences, is that what is being said is simply not true - inaccurate, if you wish to soften it a bit. We are placed on the defensive from the moment we hear the words of the offer being spoken or flashed on the screen in front of us. We tend to say "No" before we take time to even consider the offer and we start listing reasons for our position, too.

Such thinking tends to undermine social conduct, too. Nothing irks me more that to pick up the phone when it rings and find yet another sales pitch being thrown my way. I know we are in the midst of legal ways to bar this unauthorized entry into our homes, and I have signed up for such a screening. The unctuous tone of the voice asking if I am me and in nine cases out of ten mispronouncing my name and/or doing crass harm to the name of the small town in which I happen to live, strikes me as being wrong and I go on the defensive immediately. I am, normally, a polite person but I find it easier as time goes on; simply to interrupt what they are pitching my way with: "I don't believe we are interested in that right now, Thank you for calling. G'bye." I still try to be formally polite but it comes hard for me. That "thank you for calling" bit is a genuine, unvarnished lie of the worst sort, but it is sort of a Band Aid to cover the blemish of my interruption. Sometimes I think: "Well, he or she is just doing their job." and I sorta feel sorry for them, and tote a weight of guilt around with me for the rest of the day for being rude.

Sometimes I think people watch television manly to find fault with it. Notice how many people talk back to their TV screens as they watch and much of what they say is negative by nature. They like to feel they could do better at whatever the performer is attempting to prove he or she can do well.

Even the most calloused politician, talking on a TV screen, would cringe if he could hear what is actually being said to or about him or her by millions of viewers. They would sulk away and give up political life forever if the knew what so many people actually think of their efforts. Think about that for a moment, How do you rate in that particular setting?

We must constantly be on the alert to positive elements concerning our viewing, reading, or listening. We do not have to take the bad with the lousy.


A.L.M. October 9, 2003 [c545wds]wds]

 
MUNG {W.E.L Series}*

For years the word "mung" has had only one meaning for me. As a crossword puzzle worker, I learned long ago that a four-letter word for "bean" was going to be either "lima" or "mung."

Now, however, as a result of computer enlightenment, I find that it has meant a great deal more than that for some years and ranks high among thousands of words I have not known.

I certainly should have come across the military usage of the term which designtes that gastonomic treat featured in GI mess halls worldwide commonly referred to as "SOS". It was an ad-lib recipe dreamed up by desperate army cooks who found themselves without anything other than meat scraps and the makings for gravy of a sort. It could vary from base to base base. I emember it being called "S.O.S/" and less offensive "C.O.C.",but never did I hear it called "mung" . It ties in rather well with the acronym source (one view), however, and may have come into being since the era of WWII, or some other wartime era.

It is used as a sort of jargon, of course, and it dates from around 1960. It is said to have originated relative to something being destroyed either maliciously or by accident. It means "to destroy" . It seems to equate with "Destroy after expiration date" we fiud on medication continers. It is suggested we examine the terms scribble, mangle, trash, and nuke.

I have been mispronouncing the word, as well, I find. It is not "mung-hung", but, rather more cultured in sound as "muhng" or "muhnj". The spelling "mung"" is at fault in the same sense as the spelling of the word "kluge", I am told. (which I will also have to investigate as a result of all this disclosure.

The final comment concerning word deals with the bean of which I knew, or thought I did. Actually the Chinese foods we eat do not use the bean but only the sprouts thereof, so I was off base there as well. "Mung" is the real name of the bean, it seems, so it pre-dates the other usages, I suppose. We tend to enlarge upon the intent of such words as technology advances, too.

The word is now referred to as a "hacker" term as well. It is said to have orignated a in 1958, the year Peter Samson, who compiled a TMRC lexicon thought it originated as an onomatopoeic sound word emulating the noise made by a relay spring (contact) being twanged.

Remember: it is spelled "mung", pronounced "muhnj" and it means a great deal more than a crossword "bean" - just exactly what is still up for grabs, however.

{W.E.L Series - Our Wonderful, Ever-expanding English Language!}


A.L.M. October 8, 2003 [c487wds]

 
PRETENSE

There seems to be more pretending in the manner in which we dress today than in any other aspect of our living.

We all do some extent, of course, live portions of our lives in emulation of the actions of others. That can be both good and bad, if you reflect upon it just a moment, based on a attempt to replicate the conduct of the saints - both great and small - who have gone before us.

We have a basic inclination, it seems, which leads us to follow the example of others, and we may not have a clear picture of what makes up the true and total personality of the the individual, or group. We are modeling after at that point our lives when we decide to follow a path set by others. The "saint" we select might be, in truth, far from deserving such a designation. He or she, in their time and place, may have been far from what we think it to have been.

When someone asked singer Tony Bennett how he could become famous again-and-again, he is reported to have said: ”I think I can become famous all over again, because I wear a tie. You have got to be different!.”

Dress is perhaps the most obvious area of pretense in our present era. Very often we blame freakish clothing styles, hairdos and habits on "the advertising world", but they, in turn, blame it on Hollywood which sets our standards far more than we realize. Other break it down to TV and other factional features of our entertainment world. We seem to find it easy to forget that much of the “pop” world today is a one of fantasy and make-believe and, start wearing the most freakish hairstyle we can find, or revert to an ancient one because some star or the big or little screen has had one as a part of a particular role he or she played. It is not only the young people who make a habit of appearing sloppily dressed. Adults, too, go out of their way to do so to attract attention with strange hair configurations, off colors in hair and every item of clothing they might choose to don.

It could be said we are living in a time of "disreputable" dress. When trouble surfaces in our schools, someone is sure to attribute it to kids wearing expensive designer jeans and exotic shoes and slovenly crowds of them shuffling through crowded corridors, many of them lugging gigantic backpacks filled with a week's supply of who-knows-what. The boys and many girls wear extremes - ultra loose pants dragging the ground and over sized sweat shirts and ragged looking canvas/plastic footwear - or skin tight jeans or shorts. Just about every such TV film segment features a dozen or so super-skinny girls wearing min-short shorts and tight tops. Viewers ares usually subjected to at least one low angle crotch shot in ever such sequence which packs a visual comment on sex problems in the schools.

We dress as others do and have become one, big, non-descript blob of nothingness. Everyone is trying to look like everyone else. Individual traits are discouraged.


A.L..M October 7, 2003 [c514Wds]

 
SEASHORE MUSEUM – PRIVATE

If I lived on the edge of one of the great oceans or seas, I would like try to do exactly as a friend of mine has done - start and maintain a private Seashore Museum.

You are the sole owner, the Curator of the artifacts shown as well as heading up every job - including that of “Acquisitions Department.”That would be “the fun job”and other duties would be “work” if you are to run a well-managed, documented place with a worthy collection.
.
Among the initial items collected will probably be seashells and kindred natural findings. You can fill shelves and cabinets quickly with just those. There will be selections of seaweeds - edible and non-edible. Don't overlook the photographic wing of the establishment, either. Take good pictures of, jelly fish designs from boat side floating so delicately on the still water.. A display of those alone can change walls and ceilings into star like showplaces. You will need a good tape recorder,too. As you v view your treasures. A premium can be the sounds of the surf of gulls and other shore birds and the swish of an offshore breeze through dried growths; the crack and roll of lightning and thunder when the storms arrive - which they will, to once gain, be held as hostage in the form of photographs and tapes.

Other items you will acquire, in time, will include: one half of a coconut palm seed shell from somewhere, assorted bottles - large, medium, and small and often softly tinted with some color. Bottles with messages contained therein are rare are a bit “common” or “corny” - mostly aqua-legend in nature. You can collect driftwood, of course, for decorations and arty additions to foyers and furnishings.

You will come across a host of items which will incite the disapproval of the Acquisitions committee re: junk. That will include pieces of roofing materials, sections of fishing vessels and equipment, channel markers for marking driveways borders, curbs and flower bed corners am plastic wrappers of many shapes and kinds. You will also have on display a few light bulbs which floated in from some festivity afar.

You will find it impossible trying to explain the history of some items ...a chunk of scrap iron, for instance, but one can assume it may have been attached to float-able wood at one time which has long-since since rotted. There will be be some land-based items, too, such as a selection of arrow heads possibly used in attempts to kill fish or shore birds. Here will be shards of crockery, cooking utensils of various kinds other debris from scores of clam bakes, picnics and other such beach festivities.

You can have miles of museum strung together if you even half-way work at it.

Put it all together and it spells “Junque.”

A.,L.M. October 6, 2003 [c502wds]

 
SOME OLD WORRIES AND CARES.

If you think today's international problems are too complicated , come with me back to March 26, 1941 - a date picked at random. Here is a transcript of my TOPIC entry for that date sixty-two years ago.
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“COMMENT – March 26, 1941

Today Yugoslavia is a member of the Axis. Somewhat of a Junior partner, but neither the less a member of a sort. She has not exactly given the go-ahead signal to Hitler, but she has indicated that certain lengths he might wish to go are all right and admits through such concessions that she is sufficiently pliable enough to be taken over as soon a troops and “citizens” are lodged within the gates and in control of key positions.

Norway was won from within and it should not be too difficult to take over Yugoslav in a like manner. He may face some opposition in the ethnic diversity of the area. Native, unified Norwegians, failed to see the Nazi “writings on the wall” . The Serb portion will, perhaps, but Croats, and others, may prove to be troublesome.

Prince Paul was, no doubt, asked by President Roosevelt and other leaders of the Democratic countries to support the cause of Greece in refusing to allow the Germans to cross his land. He holds fast at the moment .Two days or so from now, it may be more difficult to stop German troops from exercising what they are calling their right of passage as they occupy Yugoslavia 'to preserve peace and restore order.'

I do not doubt that much of the internal disturbances within the area are instigated by Nazi-paid factions, or by people speaking out in a warped sort of new-found “wisdom” (not unlike our own Col. Charles Lindberg) who speak Hitler's language in the unwitting guise of ”peace” rather than “destruction” rot.

The term “strike” used to relate to baseball games. Now, it is the final word in relations between business and the worker. Right now, over much of our nation workers are striking in the defense industries and demanding more pay and rights. The Ford Motor Company's lawyers called the CIO the “Communist Labor Organization” because of their heavy communist-oriented membership. Won't all of that fit nicely in the history books of the future? Brother Earl Browder is in jail - as of yesterday - but at the same time he must be laughing up his crooked sleeve.

Another leading topic of the day ls news has been the signing of the aid to Britain - a “Lease-Lend” bill by President Roosevelt. He is finding out, as many other president have before him, that they way to get action from the legislative body is to go fishing. The bill had to be flown down to FDR for his seal of approval because he was fishing off the Florida coast. One wonders how we will supply Great Britain with munitions if our industrial plants stay on strike.. It is not bottle-necks holding us up right now - it's horses-necks.”
===

We had plenty to worry about even in those pre-Pearl Harbor days, August 26, 1941. We made a way through them and we will survive our present troubles, as well. Some of them willl ,in time, seem to have been rather trivial.

A.L.M. October 5,, 2003 [c595wds]

 
...AND BY....

Every year there is a danger that few really worthwhile books might not receive the recognition and acclaim they deserve.

For example, may I call your attention to the annual “Occupational Handbook”published by the U. S. Government. I find,on checking, that I did a review of this useful volume in 1970 which had absolutely no affect whatsoever on the sales thereof. At that time it cost $4.29 in soft cover. At almost 800 pages that was about $2.07 per pound. It was the yearly handiwork of the U.S. Department of Labor, Bureau of Statistics.

I had been disturbed by the absence of any written paean of praise several job categories. True enough, I must admit, the book lacked zip, zowie, zing, zap as well as bang and verve. It was dull reading throughout, at best - not just in random spots!

The title was an elongated killer to start with but its worthy purpose was to set forth, in alphabetical order, the complete list of occupations to which a person might aspire to undertake as a life's work. Each article developed the nature of the work involved, the geographical extent of employment in the field, working conditions, and average earnings one might expect. Parents and teachers found it to be an excellent aid in guiding their charges into occupational fields promising both aesthetic and economic enrichment.

May, I, however, not as a critic, but as a friend of the editors; as one eager to assist in such a worthy work, point out the absence of two well-established fields of endeavor to which any re-blooded, cholesterol-correct American boy or girl (F.E.P.C.) might aspire.

The first occupation, which should inserted in the R.O.T. l59.148 area as being associated with Radio/Television Announcers. It concerns a specialty which has come about through the practice of what is called “piggy-backing” or extended or multiple sponsorship for radio/TV productions. I refer to the unique and highly demanding talents of the “connective announcer” who joins the two conflicting commercial messages together without antagonizing the listener/viewer; without distracting in any way from the climactic fervor of the initial message, or diminishing in the slightest the traumatic insistence of the second piggy-backed proclamation.

He distinctive, non-intrusive role as the “Connective Announcer” has gone unheralded because the speaker is never allowed to be seen; never voices his or her name (FEPC) and is never thanked by on mike/camera personnel. His prime value lies in his being heard by not seen. Training demands comprehensive study of the words “Now.” and “By”to sooth the feeling is second who feels his should be first, and the first sponsor who feel slighted by being so far from the entertainment section of the program.

Above all, he must not let the viewer realize that he will by double chunks of taped commercials from that point on. The next time you are watching TV, take note if the special tones of that voice which inserti: “...and ...by!” You will agree it demands a tremendous sense of precise timing, confidence, stability, fervor, charm and downright sneakiness.

I also want to suggest, also, you add another occupational category to your fine list -.that of “Pin Putter”in subsequent editions.

A “Pin Putter” is be man or woman (FEPC) when men;s dress shirts are being packaged. The trained specialist manages to conceal pins in places the average man would never consider. Skilled operative are in demand. They're getting scarce, too, since many have followed the skirt makers to overseas locations

Now, take this new shirt I've just bought. I've managed to find every last pin in it ...ouch!

A.L.M. October 4, 2003 [c661wds]

 
A BIGGER BEN

I often wonder if Ole Ben Franklin actually said all the fine things he is credit with having said, or “blamed for” if his often odd way of seeing ordinary things as some uncommon way irks you at times.

He could always blame any troublesome quips on “Poor Richard”, of course. I wonder, too, how his friends viewed him, as a wise cracking busybody or perhaps as a old curmudgeon who was forever examining everything they considered normal and seeing abnormalities therein. Worse yet, finding good in what they were throwing away as useless, and forever talking about whatever it was we were doing wrong.

We need to fashion a bigger slot for Ben - or someone like him - in our lives today. We need to see, hear and revere the Bigger Ben.

For instance, right now when we are going in and out of series of small wars with enemies most of us never heard of before they became our nemesis. Ben once said: “'There is no small enemy.” We have had to learn that in recent decades as we have seen petty, local officials and their military minions take over various parts of the world. The conflicts seem “small” but loom large as they go along. Think about such names as Gadafi, Noriego, Taylor, and a half-dozen other around the world.
Did we, or do we, tend to misjudge our intent from time to time?

Ben Franklin also advised us to : “Beware of a young doctor or an old barber.” We have to make choice in our selection of people to represent us our republic form of democracy, and we do have to choose, quite often, from new doctors who have never even heard of specific troubles we might experience, and older trimmers and cutters who are “sot in their ways” and have not kept up with the latest modes. What guides us in making such selections?

Through the centuries mankind has turned to the mysterious world of maxims, adages. Proverbs, statements and sayings by men and women who have walked this path; lived this life before.
Ben Franklin was such a mentor and, closer to our own time, Will Rogers may be said to have filled that need, and their have been others, as well. True enough,much of what they said may seem far-fetched; even contrived, but it serves to edge me around to asking who might be said to be fulfilling the Ben Franklin-Will Roger role in our culture today?

Andy Rooney, maybe? Anyone else?

We need such a guide and critic.

A.L.M. October 3, 2003 [c463wds]

 
THEN

In the Fall of the year 1935 – that was sixty-eight years ago, mind you – O. O. McIntyre, in his daily column “New York Day By Day”,was concerned about an inequity which, oddly enough, remains with us today in various forms.

Otis Odd (How was that for a name?) noted that it had come to his attention that a “special assistant in charge of publicity”, scornfully referred to as “a press agent”, was listed on the payroll records of the United States Attorney General's staff at a salary of ten thousand dollars per year.

In 1935 ten thousand was a monstrous mound of American moolah. The thing that disturbed MacIntye was that the Chief of the Department of Justice – a forceful young man by the name of J. Edgar Hoover “who has so expertly rounded-up the crooks”- the “press agent's” boss - was getting $9,000 per year.

The columnist thought the two figures ought to be reversed and asked me, and his other readers :”What's wrong with this picture?”

By and large, I think most of us agreed with him, and those of us who are still around can easily find such inequities in the pay scale tabulations of today. I often felt, when working in the industrial side of our economy for a decade or more, the job listed as “Secretary” was so poorly compensated in relation to the amount paid to the C.E.O. for whom she worked. I never felt that promoting her “Executive Secretary” was eve anywhere near enough. I found, that in many cases, it was the Secretary who, actually, ran the place.

Young people, seeking jobs today use such terms as “25K and 30K” as starting points. Wouldn't newspaper writers such as O. O. MacIntyre have a typing tizzie with today's statistics?

He saw other less disturbing things as well, however, and, overall, presented a happy view of his favorite New York City. That Fall in 1935, he mentioned as being the year of the rotisserie with undulating, steadily spinning racks of golden chicken roasting in restaurant windows. From Sixth Avenue such rotisseries were thriving. He speaks of chorus girls, working in the area, sending out for a snack. They got a baked chicken, fried potatoes and large slabs of fresh bread for a total price of 80-cents. Mac also had a favorite spot along 6th Avenue called “Castle Lake”. They served Oysters on the Half-Shell in beds of hot sand.

Then was a good time, wasn't it?

And Today – come Tomorrow – will be Then, as well.

A.L.M. October 2, 2003 [c476wds]

 
CONTINUED STORY

I happen to live in a section of the nation where the Civil War is much more real than elsewhere. Most families assume their ancestors fought on the side of the Confedneracy, but historical records, at times, indicate that such was not the case. Some familes were divided.

I read a book a few years ago which keeps coming to mind, even though it dealt with more times and World War II. It was written by Jack Higgins and it took a twist of the old theme of twin brothers fighting on opposing sides of a war. One wonders what parallels one might find along such lines in own Civil War era.

Such things did happen. I was involved in a search of old records in one actual case where we found we were going to have to inform the family that one of their "solider sons" wore a blue unform rather than a gray one.

One would think just about every twist concerning the switching of twins had been worked by those who compound fiction stories, but this one was a new and different one ...at least for me. I enjoyed the exploits of twin brothers who were war time aces - the one for the RAF and the U S Air Force and the other for the Luftwaffe. It all seems to make good, logical sense, too, and is not at all difficult to understand how sides were chosen and how each man acted according to his feelings.

There must have been a number of families during World War II who were divided in their feelings concerning Axis thinking and that of the Allied nations. This book dealt with one partciular case and did so with amazing temperance and without upsetting anyone violently. The love of flying which both boys exhibited - a trait inherited from their father who had been a "flyer" in World War I, overshadows the "reason" behind the war. The twins are almost robots in one sense and as they flew they expressed their views only in a secondary way.

I think most readers will anticipate that, sooner or later, the brothers are going to meet each other and that they will be forced to make decisions about taking each others lives. They meet several times and, as one might expect, in unusual circumstances. Yet, they remain brothers in every sense of the word and sonmehow it works out well with several unexpected twists along the way and at the very end.

Those persons interested in the aircraft of various nations of the era - the Russians, Finns, British, Germans, and Americans will find this book of special interest. "Jack Higgins" also writes under the name "Harry Patterson." There are also some interesting sidelights on the personal feelings of many Nazi personalities of the time.

A memorable feature of "Flight of Eagles" is a small Teddy Bear dressed as an "aviator". It was an on-craft mascot of the father of the twins in WWI and a passeger on every flight he made. It was also the mascot of one of the boys in World War II. You will find it interesting to follow the adventures of the mascot bear "Tarquin" as a secondary theme of the overall story.

Question: how close did Dwight Eisenhower ever come to being killed?

You find out when tour read "Flight of Eagles" - and you'll wonder if it is fact or fiction. I'm still deciding. Truth and fiction mingle at times.

A.L.M. October 1, 2003 [c583wds]

 
INVENTORS

The older I get the less I believe in individuals who seem to have simply sat down and decided they were going to be “inventors”

I have decided it doesn't work that way at all. We have plenty of examples of both men and women who might be said to been born inventors and can't help making new and exciting new gadgets.

It now seems to me that one does not go about becoming a generator of wonderful, new contraptions which we can buy, sell or trade to each other. It doesn't work that way at all.

People who invent things - both products and procedures - don't just sit down and take pencil and paper and make up something. In truth, inventors don't invent anything at all ...what they do is look at life about them and see where something is yet to be desired and they, then, process what they have in mind in order to meet the need they,or others, might have.

Take this thing of players at a football game going into a “huddle.”. Who, in his right mind, would waste time hunching together to talk while a game was in progress? That “huddle”, as we now know it, was necessity when it was “invented” by a football player at, then Gallaudet College, now University, in Washington, .D.C. Since 1864 that has been a leading educational institution for the deaf. That, you can see, made the “huddle” idea a necessity because the opposition team always knew what the next play was to be as it was “signed” in plain sight.

Hand signals at your baseball diamond came about in pretty much the same way. There was a major league player by the name of William Hoy, unabashedly know as “Dummy Hoy” by his fellow players, and sports writers of that day, who had to have some way of knowing what the decisions were. Fans liked such signals telling them what had taken place and there are, I'd estimate, millions of us today, who would not have any idea of going on down on the actual playing field without such graphic guidance from signaling officials

I can remember when our railroads devised the idea of time zones for the nation to keep their trains from running into each other.
.
Great inventions have come about for the simple reason that they were needed to meet some, specific need.

Inventors are those one-step-ahead individuals who realize such needs exist and rush off hellbent to find the answer to that need. Give a Thomas Edison just a hint that something might be needed which could talk back to us, or light our way in times of darkness, and he was off to the lab afire with ways to try to do it.

So, to solve our problem today in this modern era, need to become aware of our needs and of world about us. Only then can we venture out to take care of whatever it is we find is required to make for a better life for everyone.

Don't just sit there. Think of something that is needed. If you see a way it can be done, you're on your way.


A.L.M. Sept. 30, 2003 [c575wds]

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