OH, BURY ME NOT...
On the “lone prairie”, or in the finest marble mausoleums, I often question who devises the quaint, brassy, wise, silly, and, occasionally humorous sentiments emblazoned on the resting place of the notable, notorious, nutty, nefarious or nasty individuals entombed at that specific point.
As to the actual authorship of such graveyard graffiti, we are usually led to believe that the “die-ee” - that would be the individual buried there under - rather than a surrogate “die-or” actually came up with the terse sentiment expressing their true feeling about the deceased. Many such statements are, I fear, pure whimsy on the part of some comedian who lacked a proper stage; cemetery-centered Kilroy character who wanted to leave notice he had been there, or, here at one time.
Can you accept the idea that Dorothy Parker, that eminent Algonquin wit, could have requested that the inscription on her tombstone should read: “Pardon my dust.” As I remember her, she was never quite that polite.
It seems just and proper that Cecil Rhodes' final words be cut in stone for all to remember: “ So little time; so much to do!” and I think it is proper to put one word following the name of a famous gardener: “Transplanted.”
There are reams of these terse statements and many are used again and again. Some are serious such as that of Israeli leader Golda Meir: “I have had enough.” Showman George F. Kaufman quipped:”Over my dead body!” Jack Paar; “Keep the line moving!”, and there are scores of generalized ones which are applied ,usually, on an occupational specialty basic as a rule” For the non-believer””Here lies an achiest. All dressed up and nowhere to go.”; On a supposedly double grave: “ a lawyer and an honest man.”'; on the hypochondriac's grave: “I told you I was sick!” and the cowboy “who's crown was won, by blowing in an empty gun.”
You have, probably, given very little, serious thought to the idea that some words will be required on your headstone one day. I will admit I have been remiss in such preparations myself, as well as any efforts to compose what I want my last words to be.
Tombstone sentiments and “last words” are pretty much of the same order, so we are all potential subjects.
Be very careful what you say at any age!
Remember. Anything you say may be held above you.
A. L. M. October 17, 2003 [c418wds]
