SPECIAL: THIS MONTH That's the planet Jupiter showing off all this month in the
star sprinkled sky show for all to see.
NASA reminded me and I'm reminding you to get out there to take a fresh look at this tremendous chunk of planetary real-estate. It is an especially good time in which to do so, because Jupiter will be just 410 million miles away from Earth which is about 200 million miles. And that's closer than it was last October when we didn't tell you to take a special look.
You have to look toward the east at around sunset. There's Big J shining ten times brighter than anything else trying to get attention this month. You can watch it rising into the sky and if you have a backyard telescope - which not many people do - you can actually see Jupiter's cloud belts, its Great Red Spot and the four, large moons the planet sports - Europa - one of the most interesting of remaining moons we have not visited, one called Io. Then, Ganymede and Callisto. All four are circling Jupiter. For those of us without backyard, side or front yard telescope facilities, it will take a bit of imagination but you can manage if you give it half a try.
When you do so,imagine that the big ball you see called Jupiter is sorta squashed from top to bottom -[not exactly round as a ball should be. It as if somebody heavy sat on it at one time, but it is actually caused by the fact that it turns around so fast that the mid-section sorta pushed out into whatever is not there. It's like a fat man blaming his bay-window belly on the pull of the ocean's tide when he goes swimming.
It moves along so fast that it is possible to view then entire round trip of the planets circle in one night of viewing. You'll want to to identify the four moons , of course, visit Jupiter's "Sea of Tranquility, and ,perhaps, drop in on the big Red Spot which you will find is a hurricane which measures about twice a wide as Earth
, which churns across Jupiter's clouds endlessly. Be ready to get a possible squint a smaller version called "Red Jr." will follows in the path set by Big Red. "Jr." usually tags along about two hours after Dad has done his darnedest.
Jupiter is 318 more massive than Earth'. It is more or less 410 million miles away and,don't ask me why, but it's gravitational pull is downright "feeble"...something like 34-million times less than the gravitational pull that holds us on Earth.
Listen to what NASA tells you, brother. The things they talk about are, to me at least, hints of what tomorrow's news will be - make that 'the day after tomorrow, perhaps.
Now, back to reality for a serious moment. Do you remember when we could save and mail in box tops to win "valuable prizes"? What box tops, can your tell me, should I be saving to get one of those backyard telescopes?
A.L.M. May 6, 2006 [c528wds]
IGNORE IT! I have long held a view that the proper treatment for offensive, salacious, obscene entertainment material which comes my way is to ignore it. If I happened to view a TV show I did not like I felt I wrongly favored and gave it a measure of approval simply by recognizing it existed. I learned long ago that people who produce such material see negative comments as an indication they have "touched a nerve or two out there" and they do all they can to enhance the lewd factors which bring in such reactions.
I have been unaware of the fact that it even existed until I chanced upon a feature article - not an advertisement which will come later - in the Norwich Evening NEWS - noting that a new dramatic presentation which has been "the smash hit" of London's West End. The production - now on road tour - comes to the stage of my favorite theaters - Theatre Royale
in the city of Norwich, Norfolk County, about a hundred miles northeast of London.
The trouble begins with the title. This strange creation, written by Stewart Lee (Director/writer) and composer Richard Thomas who did the lyrics also. They chose to develop their play entitled "JERRY SPRINGER:THE OPERA" after being performed at the Edinburgh (Scotland) "Fringe Festival" in the summer of 2002. The "plot" of the opera is outlined for us:
"Basically the plot ....involves one day in the life of the talk show host (said to be "America's favorite") with two sets of guests. There are tap-dancing Ku Klux Klan members with a burning cross, dancing nurses and forty Jerry Springer look-alikes all singing en masse on stage.
"The theme the talk show is What's My Secret? Guests include an obese man cheating on his prissy wife with a fat hippy and a transvestite with a heart of gold and a man telling his fiance that he wants to be a baby and pulls off his suit to reveal white nappies! Jerry is shot dead by his fired warm-up guy, and goes to hell and has to reconcile Satan and Jesus. God tries to save him and a dead guest argues that he isn't bad at all, he just holds a mirror to people's failings and desires and in the end of the day everyone just wants their Jerry Springer moment, their fifteen seconds of fame."
That's the gist of this dramatic achievement. If any of my friends in the Norwich area can tell me some redeeming factors, I'd be willing to take a second look at it.
The next three nights of this next week folks are going to be shelling out from five-pounds to twenty-seven-fifty to see this startling revelation of life in America and 5 or 27:50 ain't goobers.
After all, it's probably still best to simply ignore this sort of thing.
A.L.M. May 5, 2006 [c482wds]
