FINEST GIFT What is the very best gift your can give to a young man?
Sir William Osler once said the finest gift you can present to any young man is the gift of friendship. So, you see it is not too late or too early to do so; not dependent at all on when holidays and sanctioned gift-giving times are handy.
I realize it sounds a bit on the corny side for our modern times. It's true, however. A young man on his way up, seeks your approval for what he wants to do. He, if he has any gumption at all, doesn't seek guidance in a mentor sense at all. In fact, he may -unwittingly - may even resent your attempts to offer financial aid, favors, or power influence of a social nature. Your friendly understanding and approval of those steps he has taken, or plans to take concerning his future is what he wants most over all others. You can't give any better gift than that of the desired and much-needed gift of sincere friendship.
Sir William Osler was at the peak of his sensational medical career in May of 1905 when he may have been at a point at which he especially realized how he had made it to that degree and had come to know how important friendships they had been to his success. In 1893 he had identified those blood cells we now call platelets which revolutionized the studies of human blood and related conditions. He advanced steadily into a wider view and appreciation of what medical service to Mankind might be for eager, capable, studious young men and women. He related easily, it appears, to those young people of college age - both boys and girls - with alert eagerness. The actual gifts we, following Osler's example, can give to young people is varied.
Be communicative, for example. Talk with young people rather than “at” or “to” then. And – listen to that which they have to say and evaluate it in your own mind without, necessarily, making it obvious that you see some flaws therein. They too will, in time, see those same flaws without you having pointed them out as misjudgments and potential hazards. They will, thus, discover for themselves how they can overcome such fears and false steps without your intervention. It a like situation arises again” - they have “been there-done-that”. At the same time, use your good-judgment should dangers continue. Last-minute rescues can be a true test of sincere friendships.
Teach young people to have “a gift of gab”... the ability to talk with each other, and with older people in a loose, informal, congenial manner without staid, formal rules obscuring innovative thought and action.
Remember , too, that - like it or or not - you are a model for them. Good or bad. You are one or the other. Check your own standing from time to time to make sure you continue to a worthy template of which that young person may base his life.
The cardinal rule is said “to make a friend,you have to be one.” It can be given and received a one and the same time. The basis of a friendship is being interested, concerned, loving and caring all the way.
“In the life of a young man the most essential thing for happiness is the gift of friendship.” Sir William Osler, Canadian doctor. May 2, 1905.
Wise words.
A.L.M. January 8, 2006 [c582wds]
