THE GREEN THAT GROWS ALL AROUND I'm having my entire yard covered with flat, heavy flagstone. I'm having each slab cemented firmly to fit over ever inch.
I'll tell you why.
My neighbors don't like the way I cut my grass.
When I cut it during early morning hours, they say: "He's inconsiderate! Sane people are sleeping! Clackity-clank! He has to mow his lawn!"
Cut it at night: "Money hog! Works all day! Afraid he'll miss out on a dollar! He has to work nights too!"
Early evening: "Anti-social guy! Too good to mix with us common folks at the softball game or the P-TA!
Cut on Sunday - at any time: No peace and quiet! He' ir-religious! Regular scoundrel! Makes me nervous! C'mon, let's go to the stock car races!
On a holiday: "Show off! A national disgrace! Can't let us rest on a legal holiday! Got to show hard he can work!
Mid-afternoon: "lacker! Takin' time off from his job just to cut his grass! Wait until I tell ole Smedley at the office. On company time! Imagine that!"
If I pay someone to cut it: "Uppity! We have to tend to our own! Old money bags hires all his work done!"
If I get the wife and kids out there to help: "Slave driver! Just look at him ordering those kids around! Oh, and that poor wife
I just would not put up with it all!"
As I said. I'm installing flagstone over every grassy inch! I any of you have a nice, reasonable estimate you can sneak in to me? Free lawn mower with deal.
(Note) Not responsible for any neighborly insults likely to be incurred.
A.L.M. July 31, 2005 (redone from summer '51) [c301wds]
