GROWN UPS Are we guilty of attempting to age our children beyond their actual years? We see indications of that tendency in the news when we see little girl dressed and made up to resemble young women; little boys as romantic counterparts. It is reflected in new events kidnapping attempts.
I have talked with present-day school teachers and I find that when they describe today's students, they seem to hesitate in doing so, but eventually come down on the side of: "they're much more mature than we were."
The hesitation, I have noticed, is usually in relation to the term "mature" itself. They seem to agree that today's students are, indeed, more mature but they wonder if your definition of that word is the same as theirs. The critical area is that to some of us the term "mature" simply means "older" - physically and mentally - more advanced. Boy's are more muscular and macho in attitude; girls are more ample in bosom and hip areas. We think of them as being more "grown up" and more aware of the aspects of social life which will be the challenge to their future. They have been pushed into this by adults who often urge their children start adult habits early in life - such as girls wearing cosmetics, having their ear lobes pierced for dangling ear decorations from kindergarten years on up. Girls clothing, too, is fashioned as a cut-down version of mother's or of some movie or TV starlet. Boys are expected to emulate the outdoors man ethos, even while being allowed to be couch potatoes in front of the home TV or Nintendo set. Both are expected to learn what life is all about from watching MTV daily.
The teacher's opinion can be totally wrong if he or she has misjudged the home upbringing the child. The teachers may deal with things as they should be, while parents deal (or refuse to deal) with things as they really are. They often come down on the positive side in their view, but , in doing so, risk the displeasure of parents and families. The teacher's role is not an easy one these days.
An accurate estimate of just where youth stands today in comparison to the youth of our day or any other time, requires that both views be incorporated in any study. Too often what seems to be the immaturity of the child is really that of the parent who never quite grew up. In view of the obvious excesses of recent generations, I think today's youth has a remarkably steady grasp of things which really matter. Both sides need to re-adjust their thinking to be fair about judging what has happened in the past. It is not solely a matter of long-haired boys, or skirt-shy girls; nor is it a matter of taciturn oblivion staring back at you when you examine the face of a young boy or girl. It should not come as any surprise to older people that the youth of today are "poorly informed" on topics which were considered to be "essential" or "basic" in our time. Have you noticed, for instance, how many young people have little or no knowledge of Nursery Rhymes and wash out completely when that subject comes up in TV quiz shows and in common talk? An entire generation has grown up without hearing Mother read Nursery Rhymes at bedtime. It does not appear to be a "big deal" in particular. It is, furthermore, evident that in the upcoming generation many young people now know a fund of Disney versions of the nursery classics and history which are often far removed from any resemblance to the originals.
This seems very trivial, too, does it not? Yet, it is indicative of what has taken place in may other aspects of our lives. A Walt Disney version of "the birds and the bees" falls far short of meeting a teen's needs today in the live-a-day world.
Certainly our youth are more "advanced" in many ways today, with electronic aspects such as the previous generations never dreamed of having in common, everyday use
Life is so much more "open" today; yet minds remain closed. We are failing to make proper use of the advantages we now have and the young people are being put at risk far too soon.
If you "hesitate" when asked the same question about maturity today it may well to note that we are seldom, if ever, talking about the same thing. We must agree to common terms and use them consistently if we expect to come up with a workable answer to such continuing and mounting problems.
A.L.M. amccsr@adelphia.net June 23, 2005 [c740wds]
