ARNOLD, YOU RASCAL!
The secret is not yet out.
California’s new Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has a plan in progress to overcome the state’s huge debts.
The nation will not become aware of the scheme until the Governor announces: “Let the trials begin.”
The plan got underway just after St. Valentine’s Day - appropriately enough, when the mayor of San Francisco let it be known that he would be available to perform marriage ceremonies for homosexual couples of whatever ilk. He set up shop and thousands of same-sex twosomes flocked to the Mayor’s nuptial headquarters. Many who have previously desired to be left alone to live their own way of life, now wanted o b e,it appears, like everyone else. They had to get married. None of this “living in sin”shame for them when the benefits of being wed were obvious and becoming more so.
To date, the leap year date of the year 2004, over six thousand couplers - three thousand couples, have taken the vows of marriage at the mayor’s altar. Being caught short by the sudden rush, the Mayor has had to resort to multiple marriages quality control . Being caught rather sort-handed by the rush, His Honor’s offices has been has had to resort to marrying eight or ten couples at a time. I understand, however. The Quality Control Section of the office has looked into the matter, however, and does not like to be quoted as saying one such marriage seems to be about as good as any other.
If and when the flood of applications eases off a bit, we can expect word from Sacramento saying:”Let the trials begin!”
Beyond any doubt, the marriages have been done in clear and intentional disregard for the established Laws of the State, and are, hence, subject to fines and punishment.
Let's think of three thousand couples to start with, and more on the way, let's say at fine rates of from ten to fifteen- K each! That would add up... to what? A well known “tidy sum”, right? The take is then to be applied to the most pressing and politically correct red ink areas in the state's books. Lest we seem too heartless and lacking in compassion for our our fellow mankind and female counterparts, let's keep the punishment at say two to five years – suspended.
Each law-breaking couple should have its day in court. That's the only fair way to go about it. Maybe eight or ten couples a time, if need be. Much depends on how urgently the state's creditors need their money. Some of them are going to learn that marriage is not always what it is yakked up to be. Why not learn that lesson earlier rather than later?
A.L.M. February 29. 2004 [c469wds]
