ONE TIME ONLY
I did something this morning which I never plan to try again!
I purposely steeled myself to read the entire contents of an eight-page, printed letter, with cardboard insert, from the President of a nationally known and highly respected university.
As with most of this specific type of higher-class “junque” mail genre, the salutation is a wide, sweeping “Dear alumni and friends”. The “term” friends is a loosely equivalent to estimates of Earth's living as of this past week
This particular epistle started , as so many do, with an attempt to do with some folksy comments about the recent weather. Spring. All kinds of rain. That sort of exciting information. This WX section details the supposedly happy misery details of around 20-thousand individuals who huddled under umbrellas, bearing the school colors, of course, at this year's graduation ceremonies. Trash bags served as seating accouterments. Lines dwell on the stalwart graduates and “friends” who eagerly endure such conditions if they can, only, be together.
The next few paragraphs deal with the increasing cost of it all. That doesn't hit most readers as being unusual these days. In spite of all such opposition, he has, however, urges us not to let such such a record fade away. Details of a gift opportunities for specific projects give are cited here as not have done so well thus far.
After such minituae, we go to the world-wide values of the entire movement. Civilizations existence hangs on our success in the our drive for increased funds. Elongated Internet addresses are included at this point for those who want to whole load dumped in their front yard. The bottom of the page, and lapping over to the next one, the four projects are itemized both the “under construction” and “planning” stages. Their fund drive is an act of faith.
Whatever is given will be a temporary thing.
';' Lunging, now toward page eight, charts show which divisions within the composite educational unit will grow or die based on your giving through the stacks and see how the each is the focal of your generosity .It seems to be set on a decade-ial cycle.
Following: some quick credits to those who worked on the letter ...some names. Then , to end it all, do we go back a full eight pages to our 20-thousand friends at the soggy ceremonies. Brave souls!
Such letters are usually signed “Sincerely”
It all makes me wonder: How many people actually read such long-winded fund finder pieces and who ticks off the amounts suggested on the enclosed gift card - postage paid – according to what a lawyer and C.P.A. Might say they should give for tax purposes. Most of all, I wonder that a “modern university” with graduates heading up huge segments of management for our industrial wealth a center of business training and
considered to be in the forefront of business acumen - has not found a better means of raising funds than trite old direct mail,“Friends:”solicitation letters!
A.L.M. July 7, 2003 [c519wds]
