ALL OVER AGAIN
It is seldom that a person gets to live a life a second time, and yet I feel, at times, as if I am doing something like that, And, to what purpose, I wonder.
I have, on two occasions during my almost eigthy-seven years, been close enough to the actual point of death that others were concerned about the obvious fact that I might not be around much longer. I also partipated in a major war in which I did what I was told to do and went where I was told to go. Some guardian angel in charge of military involvment took care of me even there in situations far beynd my control. I "lucked out" while others I knew did not. That, in a real sense, is a great mystery I'll never be able to understand - why I should live and one of my childhood friends shoud be killed in the salt water wilderness of the wide beaches at Tarawa; why another should be killed by a fragment of an anti-aircraft shell while seated in a B-24 bomber over central Europe; and there have been others, too...why they should die and I be allowed to live.
My other close call was two years ago, in April, when X-rays taken for a relatively minor exploratory purpose, revealed that I was - unknowingly - walking around and living and active life style with an abdomonal aorta which was ready to burst at any moment. No need to dwell on my "operation". Suffice to say I know I am very lucky to be here today and I have wondered many times how it was that the deft hands and skill of a young doctor by the name of of Nancy Harthun were awaiting the arrival of the helicopter in which they flew me to a larger hospital where a team would be available to meet my unusual need.
Why?
That' s what continues to puzzle me almost daily. Why me? Why, and to what end... for what purpose? The common termonology might be that "They were taken, but I was spared." I have even thought that it may be the other way aound, depending on what the future might entail. It could read: "They were chosen or selected while I was rejected... thrown back as being not quite ready for whatever!"
I am not unacquainted with death. I have worked as an assistant in the procedures of embalming. I have helped prepare and witnessed the cremation process and I have lost loved ones suddenly to Death. I am not afraid of dying. I often wish I could leave my family with more holdings than we have, but I know my time will come and my religious faith is strong and I have his constant feeling that someone else has a final say as on when my time may be ended and then, maybe, I'll learn why it is all happening this way.
A.L.M. February 7, 2003 [c481wds]
