3:16 AM
If you are awake at 3:16 in the morning having aroused from an active dream session that makes you seek comfort “back among the living”... what do you do? You do what you must and in my case that means I light a lamp, reach for a clipboard and start to write. That's “normal” for me.
I’ve been told I should write of my dreams and make a fortune selling them, but I’d much rather just be away from their confusion and frustrations. Certainly it doesn’t make good sense to write about the fantasy that’s been with me for- - well, it seems like “hours” but the dream authorities tell me it all happened few moment before I awakened.
I don’t know that I subscribe to that sort of theory-think or not, but they know more about dreams than I do so their word for it ought to be respected.
I do a lot of traveling in my dreams, and I would imagine those experts can explain that easily enough as unrequited wish fulfillment which has been with me all the days of my life. My travels in dreams,however,are far more complicated and cumbersome than anything I could possibly get mixed up with in real life.
Anyway, at three 3-something in the morning it is nice to gather a coverlet or robe over my shoulders to ward off the chilly night air and to simply sit here and write about anything that comes to mind.
This morning my thoughts turned to something my grandfathr did many years ago. Why I should think of that subject at three-something in the morning,I do not know. It was the time he told us about wanting certain letters engaved on his tombstone when it came his turn to die. He said he had discussed it with my grandmother - all ninety-three pounds of her - and that she approved.
“Yes," he told us quite seriously,"Idee,(her name was Ida but he called her “Idee”.) listened to me and she agrees the letters should be there. B T N G R - right after my name.” Without a word spoken from either one of us, we knew grandchildren would be joking even as he held forth profoundly as if reading from the stone itself.
We, of course, waited to see what he letter might stand for and Grandaddy delayed telling us. Eventually the clarificaton was made:
As if reading from the stone once more: "The capital letters: B...T...N...G...R!" following the name John Loeffert - "Born Tired, Never Got Rested!”
I went back to sleep and slept well until morning.
A.L.M. December 11, 2002 [c562wds]
